SciTechGadget learned through a second hand source today that scientists at CERN’s LHC, the Large Hardon Collider, discovered some new quantum thing, and that it’s really godamn exciting.
Our source mentioned some things like “Clark’s glue-on” plasma and something called Higg’s Bosom, but all we really took away from it was that some exciting shit had gone down, which may or may not have anything to do with time travel. Our source went on to say we couldn’t really understand how important this discovery was,quoting something from the Black Hole and Stephen “Hawk” King, so we were pretty scared shitless about what kind of horror science they are doing over in Europe.
When pressed for more information on the bosom, we unfortunately lost our connection and were left with a dial tone for the rest of the interview. Our editor thought he could hear the tune of “Funky Town” in the steady, pulsating tone, so yeah, something crazy is going on over in Sweden.