A report released today by the NRA states what the NRA has been saying all along, guns don’t kill people, mentally ill people do. The study collected data from hundreds of shootings countrywide and found an amazing trend; bullets were determined ineffective when trying to kill humans, but that mental illness caused severe blood loss and trauma when aimed at innocent people and police officers.
"It’s what we’ve been saying for years." Said NRA President and Science expert Wayne LaPierre "Mental illness is the problem. Our data showed that when the deranged individuals entered public areas, their illness was coalesced into physical form, ‘bullets’ of crazy if you will, and shattered the lives and bodies of their victims. The same data shows that the guns they carried would have rather been wielded good guys in the crowd, who unlike the mentally ill, could have used to weapon as it was intended, to safely protect the innocent."
In concert with the physical harm mass shooters’ mental illness caused, the study also found that the “gunshots” that the liberal media assumed caused the injuries was really the firearm harmlessly discharging shells in fear. Those same weapons, in the hands of the non-insane, form a protective barrier that actually blocks the blasts of psychic madness that the average shooter “fires” at their “victims.” Conversely, had the weapons been fired AT the gunmen, they would have saved lives by killing the nut-case with massive body trauma and bleeding.
"If we outlaw guns, then only outlaws will be able to shield themselves with life-protecting weapons while raining down psychic death on an innocent populace." When asked about people in other countries, the NRA scientists explained that they are simply lying about who actually has guns. "The average German or Frenchman has between 5 and 20 guns on them at all times. The crazies know better than to attack them with their mental onslaught. They just don’t want us to know that. I blame the Democrats for filing our ears with lies about how stricter gun laws in other countries keep their populace safer. How do you think Germany ran all the Nazis out of the country and into Brazil? You think Hitler would hesitate a second to storm back over Poland if he didn’t think they were armed to the teeth?"
"We’re using science to help explain why we’re so fiercely defensive about the 2nd Amendment." said Professor LaPierre. "Guns are necessary to defend ourselves against the insane and from people with darker skin in hoodies that are outside walking at night. We’re suggesting legislation to limit the right of the crazy, the slightly mentally abnormal, and the potentially not just like us. The constitution doesn’t protect one’s right to think. That thought could be dangerous, especially if it winds up in the hands of someone angry who wants to make others suffer or die because they are selfish or unreasonably frustrated. That can cause instant-onset insanity, which can kill."
The NRA is hoping IOI (Instant-Onset Insanity) is included in the next version of the DSM to explain why mass killings take place in America.